All Ping

It follows Wildlife camera operator Gordon Buchanan as he follows a mother Polar Bear and her two cubs throughout three seasons from the birth of the cubs in spring to autumn.

Made by the BBC who are quite good at making documentary's like this I was prepared to watch this highly watchable documentary on Polar Bears even though I knew at some point the BBC would spoil it with their biased opinion on global warming . I even had a quiet little bet with my wife as to who would eat the last Christmas chocolate that they would say that the Polar Bear was endangered due to global warming.

I was not disappointed within just a few moments Gordon whispered into the Camera that the arctic ice was melting and that the Polar bear would not have any Ice to hunt its main food the seal.

As I ate the last Chocolate with a smug, look on my face, much to my wife's disappointment I asked her what was wrong with what he was saying. A look of bewilderment came over her face, and I had to say well look what time of the year is it, Ah the penny dropped at last ITS SPRING SHE SAID, open another tin of Cadburys chocolates I said this is going to be a long three episodes.

I wondered at this point how many other people watching this documentary would get that it was spring when the ice in the arctic starts to disappear and the sunshine that was shining so brightly would last 24 hours. Still Gordon looked around at all the disappearing ice with a frown on his face. Now at this point I want to make it quite clear that I do not blame Gordon in the slightest he is reading from a script written for him by some faceless BBC scriptwriter who more than likely believes in global warming so hey ho you have to make a living somehow in life and if that means reading from a script then so be it.

As the days went by they fitted mother Polar Bear with the latest tracking devise that would enable them to track her an her cubs throughout the three seasons. Gordon showed everyone his latest gadget some sort of box with Perspex windows in it so that he could sit in it up close and film a few Polar Bears, and great shots they were to. A wandering Polar Bear looking for a meal found our Gordon sitting with his Camera, licking his chops Gordon whispered into the Camera I don't like this one bit, I thought well this is a fine time to say you don't like it as the Polar Bear liked his lips and tried to get at Gordon a more sane man would have put the camera inside the big box and legged it to the safety of the ship. I wondered at this point in the documentary how many people were willing the Polar Bear to break in and have a good feed. Pass another chocolate Shirley this is becoming interesting I shouted glued to the television set. But alas poor Gordon bravely carried on filming and the Polar Bear lost interest and Gordon sighed a big breath relief, we in our household shouted come back Polar Bear he will be getting out soon.

The next time we saw the mother Polar Bear was on an Island. It was high summer and now all the Ice in the sea had melted. Look its all gone shouted Gordon, I shouted back of course its all gone Gordon its flipping summer ice tends to melt when you have 24 hours of daylight in the summertime. Of course, he could not hear me as I was shouting at the television in the corner of my room.

Gordon carried on quietly whispering in to the camera, its, gone all gone what will all the poor Polar Bears do now they need the Ice to hunt seals. Probably scavenge like they usually do Gordon I again shouted at the television, the odd seal on a passing ice flow, a dead walrus washed up on a beach somewhere what about a very big whale they make a tasty meal when they are dead and washed up on a beach. But again he could not hear me.

By now I was wondering if I applied to the BBC for a job and showed them that although I have now qualifications on wildlife in the arctic I could at least tell Gordon or the Scriptwriter what most people know about Polar Bears and by the way Gordon its summer ice melts in summer. But no I know they would not want my little bit of knowledge, I knew it did not fit into what this program was really about namely a propaganda film to tug at the heartstrings of foolish and naive people who would believe the Polar Bear was in danger from global warming .

What came next even tugged at my heart and for a moment it left me wondering if I was wrong about the Polar bears. Mother came into view with just one cub!!!!!! Oh no whispered Gordon where is the other one just behind the rock shouted my wife, want a bet another chocolate that its dead I said to my wife, get lost said my wife you always win. And so I was, one of the cubs had died.

A crestfallen Gordon hung his head, I thought for a moment he was going to cry I even had a tear in my eye I was peeling an onion at the time though so maybe that's why I had a tear in my eye. I have to point out at this point in time I was sitting in my living room peeling veg on a tray getting our dinner ready. What's become of the cub whispered Gordon , probably drowned Gordon I whispered back, as it swam back and forth with its mother and his brother island hopping. We will never know what happened to the cub said Gordon it probably drowned as it swam from island to island, or I said a big bad male Polar Bear looking for a tasty snack and a female polar bear to mate with might have killed it Gordon. But I was talking to myself and Gordon did not mention that big bad male Polar Bears sometimes come across a family and kill the young cubs, it probably did not fit in to the Global warming script.

One day they lost track of the Bears and could not find them. I know said Gordon lets go a bit further North I know were some pack Ice has not melted. Now that got me sitting up, hey Shirley pass another choky over this is getting interesting everyone's been saying that there is no Ice in the arctic due to global warming and our Gordon has found a bit.

Well of they went in the ship and before long it was cracking over the ice, I cant go any further said the Captain due to all the ice. What ice I said that's not ice that must be Scotch mist everyone is telling me that's its all melted. But low and behold it was ice and of they sped on their snowmobiles looking for Polar bears.

It did not take long until they found one, well three actually another mother and her cubs, look ,look whispered our Gordon Polar bears and don't they look well fed larger than the ones what we are following further south that's because they can hunt seal on the ice.

Larger I said better fed I said, hang on a moment while I rewind, isn't technology a marvel you can rewind while you watching a program live with Sky television. So I rewound it to take a look at our bears down south the ones that Gordon was trying to say were skinny and low and behold there was hardly any difference the cubs were a bit bigger well they were two years old so is that surprising?

As they were filming another two bears turned up, look, look another two whispered our Gordon, keep a lookout said the wildlife expert got to keep your wits out here. Look, look said Gordon another one and look at the size of him. Look, look another two-shouted Gordon, hang on a moment I said I thought everyone was saying there not many Polar Bears about and now in just this one spot they are circling the camera operators like an old John Wayne movie. I think we had better go said a female voice, I think so to said the Arctic wildlife expert they look a bit hungry.

Now just hang on a moment I thought Gordon had only just said they were really well fed and looked in far better shape than our two bears back down south. And here's they are looking for a free meal.

So of they sped back to the ship, better get going shouted the Captain things don't look good bad weather is coming in snow and squalls, and of set the ship in a flurry of Snow back down South were its warmer except that when they got their our bears were sheltering from the snow storm that had followed them back to the bears down South.

As they landed on the island were our two bears were they set up the camera on its tripod filming the bears. These two bears that are wasting away from not eating seals, the big mother bear looked into the camera, the little cub bear looked into the camera, I shouted wake up Shirley pass another chocolate over this is going to be interesting two bears that have not had a decent meal in ages have spotted our Gordon come on old girl wake up. I then said go back to sleep old girl the bears are not interested in our Gordon no bloodshed to day and the bears wonder of into the distance these two wonderful beasts that had not had anything worthwhile to eat for months and who were wasting away just walked off into the sunset something a starving Polar Bear would never do.

I recommend this documentary its quite good. The filming is superb. You see Polar Bears acting naturally in the wild hunting seals and doing what Polar Bears do best! Surviving in an hostile environment. Its not Gordons fault that he has had to work with a poor script that is far more interested in perpetuating the myth about Polar Bears and so called Global Warming I just wish the BBC would not be so biased on the subject and for once tell the truth.

Mother and cub survive the summer months and are last seen eating a beached whale.